Earnest’s Outlook

August 13, 2010

Go E-Z there, O’Nest. When I said ‘PoMo’, I also said ‘Un PoCo’. You’re scaring people, not the least of which am I.

So let’s talk about e-mail: the status of my Outlook has been particularly piss poor lately – it was in fact so piss poor that I felt compelled to start twittering on our behalf (find us here!). When I say piss poor I mean I had so little incoming e-mail that I seriously had to consider cleaning up my InBox. Not even did I get one of those regular mails in which one is warned about not sending too much e-mails because it will impact efficiency; yes, the sort of e-mail that probably has a reference to ‘Tips & Tricks’ in it and that motivates its warning with a call to respect one’s co-worker.

Let me tell you the Shakespearian truth about e-mail (&, as a bonus, about co-workers responsible for sending e-mails warning about e-mails): Read the rest of this entry »

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O’Nest: To God

August 10, 2010

Dear Supreme Being (she/he),

I considered putting ‘Dearest’ only to realize that would have been somewhat self-defeating. Fortunately for both of us I did realize it in time, considering what otherwise might have happened (if you allow me to speak of ‘happen’ here) to us out-of-time (so to speak). ‘Both of us’, I say, as I quite understand you find no joy in punishing me (or anyone else for that matter – one of a few things we probably have in common).

But more on that later as I first want to announce to my dearest readers that, below the fold, I will apologize to them.

Read the rest of this entry »

Back, in Earnest

August 5, 2010

Life is much more sophisticated now. There used to be times in which people needed to kneel in order to show that they were no threat to the established order. Worse, in order to get anywhere you needed to make sure you fell in grace by a continued effort of bowing and kneeling and whatnot. Not that this was enough to get you definitely out of the whims of the powerful, no, in order to achieve that you needed to kneel and fall into grace and do whatnot and finally kill some of the fuckers in power to make place for your sorry old self.

No, life is much more sophisticated now we work on objective merit, as follows: Read the rest of this entry »

Break in Summer

July 17, 2010

You have been cool. In fact, you have been so cool that you get this.

It also has been cool. Well, cooler at least. Not quite cool enough to start fulfilling Earnest promises (see here). Not way cool but just about cool enough to give you a couple of dorky old aphorisms (a.k.a. things to say at dinner tables that’ll make you look wise and slightly weird, just about weird enough for people to avoid you respectfully). Read the rest of this entry »

Summer Break

July 9, 2010

Sorry fellas, it’s too hot for me to handle (and yes, O’Nest was right, you were not nice).

We’re outta here, at least until such time as the number 8 figures in the second and fourth positions of the, abbreviated, date code. You have some catching up to do anyways …

So you’ll be missing this: Read the rest of this entry »

An O’Nest Letter

July 4, 2010

Sorry, no, you are not getting any this week. As long as the number of readers of this is not in balance with the numbers that have read that, we’re on strike. What we mean with ‘as long as’ is, precisely, ‘until next week’.

In the meantime, please find below my letter to Earnest: Read the rest of this entry »

OK then, I’ll continue to play. When I see poor Guido struggling & realize neither of us was giving the poor guy feedback I know I should be grateful for having you (I’m being O’Nest here).  Posting the present excerpt I hope Guido will, like I will, heed the message of the poem on which it (and frankly most of this, our, book) is based:

Relax, don’t do it.
When you want to go to it.
Relax, don’t do it!
When you want to come.

Anyway, for people who like your dinner conversation advise: Read the rest of this entry »

Hey Earnest, you forgot I am one of the few people actually reading this stuff. Don’t you remember the agreement we made? Don’t you remember looking in this here mirror, promising not to get distracted from the job at hand? Let’s be (yes, I’m not going to shy away from using a cheap trick just because it’s cheap) O’Nest: we both knew it was going to be tough, and we both knew they were going to try to divide us to neutralize our message of decadence.

So let’s bloody well talk about our message, our meaning, our point we are trying to make. Let’s talk about it in Earnest, Earnest. It’s not like these voices are going to stop going on and on about it so let’s take the beast with its horns and lay it on its back and cut its hairy balls out such that we can get on with our business: Read the rest of this entry »

O’Nest questions

June 20, 2010

Here it is: chapter 4: the chance to think for yourselves, solving some action-packed exercises.

And no, I’ll be O’Nest, you won’t be getting the answers yet.

Unless of course …

Read the rest of this entry »

Earnestness

June 17, 2010

I’m a bit down. You know, when your best friend attacks you like that. I mean, it is practically as if we are sharing a body. And then, he turns on you and he lashes out.

Sometimes, my friends, life is like an over-the-top door-to-door salesman who wants you to be able to sell yourself ‘if you’re going to be worth it’. Life can be a bitch that wants you to be presentable and on your best and worthy of attention.

That sucks big time because, mostly, I couldn’t care less than to sell myself. I am like the lead character in a show called ‘The Man Who Could Not Sell Himself.’ Worse: in a short story of literary pretensions; a short story without a real lead character, peopled with undead personalities of the type of fiction where no-one feels a sudden urge to fart (unless it is to make a point on how such a sudden-urge-to-fart-ness character puts into perspective the most supreme moments of romantic solemnity – which is obviously a most romantic point to make.

Yeah, I am that non-character. If the body doesn’t want me, maybe I should leave it … & you. You’re a bunch of losers that can’t be trusted to take any of this in earnest.

And now I was being O’Nest.