O’Nest is the noblest work of God

September 4, 2010

I kid you not: O’Nest is a real work of art. People put him down but he springs back up, like a .. well .. springy type thing. He is worried he attracts no big following on our twitter page but then he consoles ourselves with the thought that we’re just not the types to actively promote these things (and we don’t have references, because – you know – references take away the uncertainty about what you are experiencing; references are thé insurance against making a fool of oneself by liking something or somebody that is subsequently ridiculed by others). To come out of the brackets: liking – as loving – something is making it part of yourself, and it bloody hurts if even the smallest part of yourself is open to ridicule.

But never me mind all that Earnestness, you have probably come here for the take-down of some popular practice – or other. I give you: the reality-creating value of bullet points on slides:

Maybe I discussed this before – but there is a wonderful process at work when teams try to get on the same powerpoint page. Just try it: take whatever topic and subdivide it in four areas. Say, areas A., B., C. and D. (it also works with words instead of letters or numbers and there can be some real poetry in it). Then talk about how many B’s you have when compared to, for instance, how many D’s it would be desirable to have. Before you know it the B’s and the D’s come alive and somebody will say “that we need to be realistic, everybody knows that D’s are the thing but that it is better to have a B than to have nothing at all … so, err, we need to find a trade-off between having as many D’s as we can without going to the extreme of alienating all of the B’s (because being stuck with A’s and C’s would be really a bummer)” and then the sayer of the quoted passage will look around the room all Napoleontic-like and conclude “as I always say we need to be optimizing this, not just being efficient but being, first and foremost, effective.”

[It is wonderful how people in actual speech are not using any noticeable interpunction but that any “correct language” freak (with beard-without-moustache and glasses that are too small for their eyes, such as to impress a sense of wisdom in line with their memories of various children fantasy shows they still consider as the pinnacle of ‘coolness’) will have a badly acted near nervous breakdown if you violate the immutable laws of interpunction. I confess: I often want to kill a couple of those bastards, just to make schools and review sections of newspapers less dominated by them.]

So the D’s will have it and the A’s and the C’s will get it shoved up their asses. The only thing you have to do as presenter is to categorize what people idealize as a D, what people find the next best thing as a B and this whole lot of things – and people – that you find utterly despicable as A’s and C’s. Convention will to the rest.

[A little bit like what I did above with “correct language” freaks. Only: these bloody bastards do deserve it!]

 

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