In Earnest, We Trust

May 16, 2010

Earnest has gathered the unavoidably modest beginning of what will maybe once be an – unfortunately very avoidable – massive following. O’Nest pitched in because it took a while before he could begin in Earnest with posting the first of the excerpts of ‘The Book’.

As people browsing the internet behave like monkeys, it will be necessary to give you readers clear instructions: “Click Here!”. You did it, didn’t you? Didn’t you? You resist the temptation to follow an Earnest order just because it’s O’Nestly implied you sometimes behave like a monkey? You are a fool if you take trouble to deny the undeniable: only a certain species of monkey is able to browse the internet. So here is your second chance: “Control that cursor. Let if fly over this here sentence. Read the comforting message that appears during the mouse-over and: click – the fuck – here!”

Glad you finally had some trust in Earnest. And do not worry: I’ll not be keeping up the ‘Earnest and O’Nest’-bit as I have been in this post. O’Nestly however, I will have to keep it as something of a running gag – from watching numerous new TV formats it is abundantly clear that the key to reaching a broader audience is none other than repetition.

This point will be explained below the fold. This means that the explanation will be explained if you click ‘Read the rest of this entry.’ I repeat that if you click thusly you will unfold what is now below the fold. Whilst you think this through, I tell you – in the hope to have disguised it in the most ‘by the -way’-ish way possible – that I’ll post new parts of The Book weekly on Saturdays and that I’ll try Earnestly to post something O’Nest every couple of days. OK, carry, on, click it. It’s blue so you feel you are conditioned to want to click it … reserve your resistance for some significant subject.

“Repeating and explaining that repetition, explaining and repeating that explanation.”, I would have exclaimed in front of an audience that paid through their noses to participate in a ‘clinic’ (which is an apt description for a place where one is fitted with the contemporary equivalent of a bone through one’s nose) on script-writing, if (that is) I were so lucky to have been a celebrated script-artist (or whatever it is called by those for whom being celebrated is not enough).

As it happens I write long sentences in which I use complex chiastic schemata and I am only celebrated by my children (&, sometimes, my wife). I think the latter ‘full stop’ would nowadays customarily be replaced by an appropriate smiley.

I would like to reward the trust that you have shown in opening this fold by explaining why I ask you to open folds.

It is the only way for me to know that someone was interested enough to read on.

If you click to open the fold, this click is recorded by wordpress.

Almost none of you will risk to make any comments.

So comments are no good measure of interest.

But clicks are low energy & anonymous.

So clicks are a good measure.

That’s why I use folds.

See ya later!

 

Advertisements

One Response to “In Earnest, We Trust”

  1. JoB said

    You violated the first principle, by being too long – and hence nobody will ever find out what the second principle is. Don’t worry, I’ll market it for you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: